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Written by Eric Courtney
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Sunday, 05 August 2007 13:20 |
Anybody who knows me, knows I'm terrible at remembering dates of significant events in History. I hate to say it, but I missed a big one here recently. My mom and dad's 45th anniversary.
When you forget an event like that, it kind of makes you feel a little guilty. Just a little. If you're lucky enough to have parents like mine, you should seriously keep track of things like this. Especially if you are the one child (out of three) responsible for 95% of the gray hair on both of their heads.
If your dad is anything like mine, you know you won't get very far without hearing constantly about the fact that you forgot. He'll mention it at least one time during almost every conversation you have throughout the year.
Now that I know you're reading this and you're all absolutely captivated by where I am going with this, let me share a few short stories of what makes my Ma and Pa so GREAT!
Let's travel back in time a bit, shall we? Lets say... October 25, 1981. That was a Sunday. My younger brother, a couple of my friends, and myself were playing some football at the Junior High School we attended (my brother was still in attendance, I had moved on to my freshman year in high school), Winston Churchill Middle School.
As we just wound down from a nice game of tackle football, one of our friends threw the ball toward the entrance of the faculty office. The person responsible for the carelessly thrown ball was a neighborhood friend named Steve Farner (dude, if you're reading this, contact me! HA!). Anyway, the plexi-glass of the front door popped in-out of the frame, and being inquisitive kids like we were at the time, we decided to sneak in to the school and make sure everything was "ok" in there.
Everything WAS a-ok until we all decided it would be fun to gut all our friends lockers and leave a big giant mess on the floors of the school hallway. Probably a poor decision at the time, but I chalk it up to the fact that we were teenagers.
Ok... to make this long story short... My brother and Steve blabbed the fact that we were responsible the following Monday at school. I was in high school, so I had no damage control over rumors. Kids those days...
The following Tuesday morning (October 27, 1981) my mom received a call, at work, from the principle of the vandalized facility. The principle informed her that the cops were on the way to pick up my brother and our friend. He also mentioned that they were sending over a squad car to pick me up at the high school I was attending (I was totally oblivious at the time), Mira Loma High School.
My mom, smooth operator that she is, assured the principle that the punishment she would issue, would be swift and appropriate. After some serious and painful negotiations, the principle decided to let the parents handle the situation. We were all spared a trip to the juvenile detention facility (insert visual of a jail cell door slamming shut here). Mom came through! Yay mom! Gawd she's the greatest!
What was so special about the day that my mom saved my younger brother and myself from going to jail? It was her birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! Love your loving little angels! Nice huh?
Ok on to my dad...
My dad and I have little playful names for each other. I call him, "Meat-head." he calls me, "Bozo."
A few years after I moved to Alaska, I decided to have a t-shirt made for him. Since I was working part time for a promotional firm, I thought it would be hilarious if I sent him a shirt that said it all. And it did. I made a custom made shirt that had a message on the front that said, "The name is 'Head. Meat-head.'" Of course in the notoriously known rhythm of James Bond's introduction, "Bond, James Bond."
When he received it, he called me here in Alaska to tell me how much he loved the tee in a sarcastic fashion, of course. Little did I know, he had plans for the gimmick.
Months later when I flew down to greet my folks in Sacramento for a little R&R, I found myself walking out of the gate at the airport to be greeted by my dad, and mom, amongst hundreds of other people in the airport. Nothing strange about that you say? My dad was wearing that shirt in public! At an International airport where EVERYONE and their entire family could see him! People even called him, "Meat-head" and he smiled and gestured back. Didn't bother him a bit.
The half hour it took for me to wait at the baggage claim, standing next to him... Was about as painful as you can imagine. Full circle! On top of that... He insisted that we go to Denny's immediately after picking me up at the airport because he wanted to make sure I had a full belly after such a long flight. Thanks Dad! I love ya heaps!
Ok.. So there you have it. I've shared a lot about my relationship with my folks. Nobody ever seems to share with their readers about their own folks in their blogs, from what I have witnessed. I guess that's the difference between my blog and other blogs. As uncool as it is to talk about your parents, I think it's very cool to share a little something about the ones you most respect in this world.
To my Mom and Dad: Thanks for putting up with your kids for 45 years. I love you both very much!
Ok... I know some of you are still reeling from Mom's Birthday incident, and you're probably wondering what kind of punishment she handed down. Lets just say that during Halloween that year (three days later) my younger brother and I were chained to the wall in our secret basement torture chamber, begging for water and food for seven days. I vaguely remember my brother biting the head off a rat in sheer hunger from the punishment we endured. My brother and I both agree, to this day, that we got off easy.
Again, of course, I am kidding… We were only chained to the wall for five days.
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Wednesday, 25 July 2007 13:16 |
After watching the Late Late Show with Craig Furgeson last night, I found out that no matter how well a variety show starts out, it can always come to a screeching halt when you schedule boring talent to appear as a guest.
Julia Stiles looked like a million bucks when she walked out; I mean she really looked nice. But as the interview began, my amused mood quickly changed. That woman has to be the most BORING person I have ever seen one-on-one. Craig did his best to make her smile and, God forbid, laugh; nothing doing! I got the impression that she was stuck-up, and only cared about being on the show to promote her new film, Bourne Ultimatum.
So after a nice steady dose of laughter and entertainment to begin the show, we all got railroaded! Thanks Julia, maybe next time you'll remember to remove the stick from your backside before you sit in for an interview. If you don't care, we don't care... What movie were you promoting again?
That's a rant!
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Saturday, 21 July 2007 13:13 |
Those of you who swear by the U-Scan option at your favorite grocery store may appreciate this...
Although it is very convenient to take the purchasing process into your own hands while shopping at your local grocery store, it does have its drawbacks.
Express Checkout clerks often lose focus when it comes to the sign in front of their station that limits the amount of items allowed through the check-stand they are operating. Nine items or less is a pretty simple request to identify when you are wheeling your cart up to take care of the hours worth of isle-roaming you spent shopping for your next week's worth of food consumption (among other things). Seeing someone with 10 to 12 items knowingly squeek through is no big deal, but those people who blatently ignore the sign are a different story!
Not all of us, waiting in line behind someone with 30 items in the Express Lane, are lucky enough to have Mr. T jump out of nowhere and confront the violator by screaming, "NINE ITEMS OR LESS AIN'T A SUGGESTION! IT'S A RULE, FOOL!" Instead, many of us deal with this person's offense, and excuse them as being unable to read or a foreigner on vacation.
In Alaska, this is a major problem during the summer. Especially in Anchorage where Wal-mart stores let tourists park their RV in the parking lot for cheap lodging, knowing that all the parking lot campers will do their shopping less than 100 yards away.
As a local, I have had enough! I use U-Scan! I control my own fate when I walk into a store (insert visual of a SWAT team securing the ice cream isle at Fred Meyer here). U-Scan is great because if you are just carrying your plunder in one hand or two, you can scan your goods yourself, drop it in the bag, swipe your credit card, and you're on your way out to the parking lot! No fake greeting to the cashier or anything, "Hey how about this crazy weather we're having huh?" It's Power shopping! Meat and Potatoes Shopping, as I like to call it.
Unfortunately, now, there are people who are so confident in U-Scan, that they have no problem wheeling up their four carts of crap to check out on their own! I should add that there is currently no item limits on this option! In Alaska anyway!
Those U-Scan experts who are reading this, who are guilty of the above mentioned infraction, please take heed. EVERYONE HATES YOU!!!! If I am in line behind you holding a pint of chocolate peanut butter Haagen-Dazs, and you have enough food in your basket to feed your village of 300 for a month, wave me ahead or I'm going to let you know how I feel!!! It won't be pretty. Get the "eff" out of my way or I will be sure to close down every checkstand in the store, due to my tirade, to be sure you understand how ridiculous you look as well as labeling you with the stupidity ribbon for being a complete effing moron! Of course it will be at the expense of me looking like a complete jerk, but everyone behind me will applaud and I will turn out to be a hero! A U-Scan martyr, if you will... I win! (insert visual of Rocky running up the steps, and jumping around with his arms in the air here) Yay me!
So... Those of you smart enough to understand U-Scan, and understanding Express etiquette, I look forward to being courteous and telling you that you forgot your receipt and cash-back. Those of you who continue to abuse the freedom of doing it yourself, I will take your cash-back, give it to the guy holding a cardboard sign in front of the store, and curse you to be stuck in a jail cell with Mr. T (on a strict diet of Viagra and oysters on the half-shell)!
Again... I win!
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Thursday, 12 July 2007 13:11 |
I have decided to disable the inline ads and page sponsors for my site. Not only is it annoying, but it also displayed some questionable content on occasion. Yes it helped pay for the cost of operating my site, and yes it may hurt down the road, but in an effort to make your reading experience more enjoyable (if that is even possible to begin with), I will make the sacrifice. Moreover, I won't feel so cheap anymore. HA!
I made the decision after I discovered a link in the slogan of my site that linked to a wanna-be-gangsta-online-entrepreneur directing users to his podcast, complete with a horrible hip-hop track in the background, telling people how to get rich on the web. I'm all for people making a living on the web, but this guy wuz juz playin' my readuhs a fewl, yo!
So in the future if you see links in my text, it will more than likely link to something worthy of reading, or looking at, or it will link to an affiliate account that I personally endorse. No more pheromones sponsor sites either. Just me (insert visual of me winking here).
Those of you trying to sign up for an account to my site, should provide as much personal info as possible. Those of you just providing an email address are not going to make it aboard this pathetic Alaskan pirate ship, regardless of any bounty ya offer me mates! Saavy?
Later!
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Wednesday, 11 July 2007 13:04 |
Today history was made. A long time Anchorage landmark was bulldozed today, and it's foundation completely removed, after being condemned for over a year.
The Billik-Inn no longer exists in East Anchorage. Located (yesterday) at 6241 Debarr Road, the long time East Anchorage dive was one of those places where many Anchorage residents spent the end of their workday/week blowing off stress by tossing back a cocktail or beer; often times a lot of cocktails and beers. Although many would never admit being seen in such a rundown establishment, a lot of Alaskans, and non-Alaskans alike, found themselves sitting at the long bar enjoying the ambience of the Billik. It was definitely a dive, and it saw it's share of all walks of life, but it was truly a unique example of Alaska's social scene. Today the only evidence of its existence is photos, like the one above, and the many memories of those who frequented the joint.
Not only was the Billik a local bar, it was also the corner liquor store for neighborhood residents. The bar and store operated side-by-side (insert visual of an old west saloon's double-doors opening here). So those folks planning to start a house party right after their visit to the bar could easily stock up on booze to continue their evening well beyond last call.
This was not a hangout for me, but the times I did spend at the Billik were always enjoyable. I occasionally found myself shooting pool and throwing darts with many friends, including Josh and Chelle, during my visits there. My good buddy Josh is really good at darts, and he played on a team in years past. The Billik just happened to be one of the weekly locations for his dart league. Chelle, a great friend, actually convinced me to walk through the door of the Billik for the first time. I'm glad she did. I kicked her back-side at pool on many occasions. HA! Good times.
I tried to pull into the lot earlier today to get a photo of the vacant land where the Billik once stood. Unfortunately, there was a lot of traffic, and I couldn't get a clean photo that would show a decent before-and-after shot. I'm going to try again before the new owners try to develop a new structure on the property. Rumor has it that one of Anchorage's popular liquor store chains has purchased the property and plans to erect one of their own liquor stores on the land.
I have a buddy in Sacramento, Greg Gayton, who always asks me to send him photos of stuff in Alaska that is totally out of the norm (familiar to people in California). Today is his lucky day. Even though the Billik is gone, we can all enjoy the memory of this gem, even if you never had the opportunity to step inside.
A giant Prost to the Billik-Inn! |
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Last Updated on Monday, 05 January 2009 13:11 |
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