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Written by Eric Courtney
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Monday, 10 September 2007 13:30 |
I’m through putting off dinner and lunch dates because I truly think I’m missing out on the best life has to offer. I always think the status quo will be available by the time I get around to joining friends to do something.
NOT THE CASE!
I have friends I have promised to go to lunch with for years. Chelle, Renee, Janna, Ildi, Lisa, Michael, Lee, Cat, Bonnie, Jane, Tina, and whomever else I have delayed enjoying a meal with in order to slow down a bit, and get to know each other a bit more on a personal level.
Last night I went to Benihana with Rhonda. Anyone who knows Rhonda, knows that Benihana is like the claim that every gold prospector in Alaska knows is going to yield the motherload! Knowing what Rhonda knows means the meal is going to be worth the cost of the check. No regrets. I disagree.
The food is good, yes, but I tend to look forward to the entertainment that comes along with the experience. You’re sitting at the grill, where your meal is being prepared, for crying out loud! Anyone who has experienced the Benihana environment knows that you can expect a lot of noise, tongue-in-cheek humor, and some serious “cutlery acrobatics!”
So Rhonda and I show up a little later in the evening, and we immediately get seated behind a grill. We wait a wee bit longer than normal because the restaurant expects a steady flow of cliental throughout each evening they’re open. With this philosophy in mind, each seat around the grill typically gets filled. It’s ok because Rhonda orders a Tempura appetizer, and we enjoy our drinks and starter food, with a little small-talk, before the real magic is about to begin. A few minutes go by, but no new customers.
Enter the Chef!
Everyone who knows me, knows that I am not prejudice in any way, and I will not tolerate stereotyping in any way. Rhonda? Janna? Care to dispute this fact? I think not!
That said, the chef comes to our grill and introduces himself, “Hi I’m Jose!” As Rhonda and I don’t pay too much attention to the fact that our chef is obviously not Japanese, or Asian for that matter… I look over at the table next to us to a party that is celebrating a birthday party. The party is one group, and they are babysitting a very old man in a wheelchair who has no idea where the hell he is. I wondered if it was actually his birthday because he was wearing a cone-shaped hat, along with the rest of his party surrounding the table, and resting his head against the wall. Their party was still waiting for a chef.
Jose started off with the typical routine at our table, while Rhonda informed him not to leave the fat on her steak. I thought to myself… This is great! We have the whole table to ourselves; nobody else to spoil our experience! Apparently there’s a policy.
As our shrimp and rice hit the grill, I look over to the birthday party next to us. Chef Hiro has arrived. He bows his head and introduces himself. Hiro starts banging his salt and pepper shakers around, flipping tongs and spatulas, catching flys with chopsticks, all the while a small pleasing applause roars from the party’s appreciation, and then I look at Jose. Jose rolls an egg down the backside of a spatula and jokingly refers to it as a “Benihana Egg Roll.” Nice… Rhonda, in an excited fashion, says… “Wait for the volcano! (onion rings stacked on top one another with smoke spewing out through the top.)” Sure that was cool. But then I looked at Chef Hiro.
With the noise coming from the table next us, it would seem that Chef Hiro busted out a Samurai sword, carved up everyone’s meal, in mid air, and with no miraculous effort, every meal ordered landed on the appropriate plate of the appropriate consumer. Cheers raged as the old man snored.
Jose, God bless him, did his best not to drop the utensils he was trying to throw around, but it was obvious he was a rookie. He made the “volcano” and Rhonda was impressed, but then I looked at the table next us, and Chef Hiro lit the faces of all the hungry customers in front of him on fire without burning them. A raging applause ensued!
Chef Hiro then busted out a pair of nunchucks, did the Bruce Lee thing, and cleaned all the biological waste from the shrimp on the table without dulling a knife. The patrons roared with appreciation.
Jose thanked Rhonda and I for letting him serve us, and we thanked him, and we ate the food he prepared for us. He then left as Rhonda and I continued to consume our meal and watch the show next to us.
We watched the remainder of Chef Hiro’s entertaining performance, while enjoying our cuisine, and just when we couldn’t believe our eyes, Chef Hiro pulled out a short-blade and committed Hari Kari!!! The party screamed “ENCORE!!!!” The old man opened his eyes long enough to roll them and went back to sleep.
Of course this is a slight fabrication of what actually happened last night. Slight fabrication. But I couldn’t help feeling a slight loss of satisfaction when our bill came. Although Rhonda and I were happy leaving the place with full bellies and a small sense of satisfaction, I couldn’t help but think of what our experience had been like had we ordered taco salads with Carnitas, beans, chorizo and Flan!!!!
So it is obvious I am missing out on the ultimate meal experience by delaying the dates of potential lunch or dinner dates I have promised in the past. I now vow not to delay planned dates from here on out! Please forgive me, if you are a victim of me saying, “Sorry! I’m too busy to go right now!”
Know what could have been.
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Wednesday, 05 September 2007 13:29 |
OK! OK! OK! It must be official, I have fans!
Yes it has been forever and a day since I last posted. I must enlighten those who have been begging me for a post.
Those close to me already know that I have been suffering from a serious case of hives. Yes, that disgusting skin reaction when you are seriously allergic to something.
I have been very busy over the last few weeks, and I have made a job transition within the place I am employed. The very place that I blame my allergic reaction to.
I have suffered through this annoying reaction since the beginning of summer and I recently discovered that I am allergic to my dog. Heartbreaking, I know, but the end of the relationship between Boomer and me is far from over.
I have been informed by my Allergist that we can indeed live in harmony! Good thing because I almost prepared myself for a lifelong doggy relationship as a hive-ridden-dog-loving-no-love-for-Eric-no-opposite-sex-interested-in-me-because-I-am-hideous-looking-mutant-sorry-excuse-for-a-human type guy! At least for the length of Boomer's lifetime. Wouldn't that have been a tragedy?
Ok... Now that the current status of my life is out of the way, have I mentioned how much I think President Bush is a complete frakking idiot? Oh I'm sorry... Did I say "FRAK?" You know my true intension toward the dick-head running our country, but I just felt the need to express the frustration of BSGIII (that's Battlestar Gallactica 3 for those non Sci-Fi types) on DVD launching in December when rumor had it dropping in September! I have had a Best Buy $100 gift card in my wallet since last Christmas with the utmost intention of being blown on the purchase of Season III. What the Frak???
PFD payments hit bank accounts yesterday. Those of you scratching your heads... The Permanent Fund Dividend is an oil profit reward offered to Alaska residents on an annual basis. Free money just for living in Alaska. Yeah that's right... It pays to live here.
Unfortunately, I earned mine this year because I served on a jury. That's how the state determines who serves. Those who apply for the Fund are eligible to serve. I'll spare you the details of that case. I wish the state could have spared our panel the same.
Winter is rapidly approaching. Leaves are all around, and I refuse to rake them until all leaves are off the trees. If it snows and sticks, covering them until next year... I will worry about it then! BONUS!
I have bored you all enough for now. I will update with some entertaining rants and raves at another time.
Hope you are all well!
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Wednesday, 15 August 2007 13:26 |
day 1: Light attracts until darkness consumes
day 2: Thrill heightens energy, chaos looms
day 3: Temporary surrender to enduring struggle
day 4: Vigilant by desperation, confidence in trouble
day 5: Daring deeds achieved for careless needs
day 6: and overwhelming regret for love less spent
Day 7: Each day a delectable reflection, each day a hungry shadow
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Written by Eric Courtney
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Thursday, 09 August 2007 13:25 |
"Oh my gawd! Can you believe what happened on Big Brother tonight? Could you totally see that happening?"
Um yeah! I did. It's the same thing that happened over the last seven seasons! And why Amber, the biggest crybaby in network television history, has not been voted OUT yet is beyond me! How tiring can this get?
Ok so I still peer into the reality stuff after years of the same thing over and over. I guess Network television has found something that people can't get enough of (insert visual of a heroin junkie Chasing the Dragon here)... Frankly, I think I am nearing the point of being fed up.
Survivor was cool for the first four years. The Joe Schmoe seasons were my personal favorites, and MTV's multiple Surreal Life seasons were the best reality shows EVER!!!
While this type of entertainment is extremely inexpensive to produce, studios are now struggling to put something unique on television. As far as the reality genre goes anyway. The dawn of the reality movement would also explain why successful, typical, television dramas would increase in numbers while competing against their Reality time-slot counterparts.
Why try producing new dramas, when you can stick to a successful formula?
Example? The first time you ever saw the CBS monster, CSI, you probably thought it was the coolest show ever! No? Surprise people!!! Many of you did! The ratings stood up against the reality movement! Was it enough for networks to invest the dollars? Damn straight! Not only do you have CSI; Miami (with a very cheesy over-acting David Caruso leading the show), originating from the successful original, we also have the New York installment running as well! A lot of people are eating it up too.
I’m sorry, but after watching the investigators in Vegas run a cotton swab through a crime scene to watch it turn purple in the first couple of years, It starts to get old in the same type of show in different regions around the nation with entirely different casts telling the story. Don’t even get me started on the success of Law and Order!
"Ok so what else am I supposed to watch on network television, Eric?"
I can tell you that I am not a typical television watching individual, but I have, unfortunately, fallen into the grasp of what studios continue to serve up. I need a break.
Thank gawd There are other channels on that box of sh!t that take up half of our quasi-productive lives we lead!
If you’re stuck with general basic television, quit reading NOW! You’ve failed, and you no longer matter. Sorry. You suck, and that is that.
Those of you with some kind of cable or satellite option, please proceed here!
The History Channel, Discovery Channel, Travel Channel, Food Channel, and anything Sports these days are far more entertaining than the crap you are watching over and over on network television nowadays (insert time-lapse visual of a seedling sprouting here)!
Want to know the real history behind that “based on a true story” blockbuster film you just saw in the theaters recently? Tune into the History Channel! Want to know how chocolate was discovered? Tune into the History Channel or the Food Network! Want to know how dangerous that career change you’re thinking of is, or see what others do for a living? Tune into the Discovery Channel! Want to learn about different cultures around the world and what to expect once you visit that location? Tune into the Travel Channel! Need Sports? ESPN, and Expose Shows like Real Sports on HBO are GREAT shows to entertain you while you sit lifelessly on the couch! This is entertainment folks! Or maybe I am just a geek. No you’re probably just programmed.
SNAP out of it!
The Sopranos and Deadwood is done, people! If you’re still waiting for news on the release of BattleStar Gallactica III on DVD, please let me know when you find out. In my opinion…. That is the best show on television as I write this!
Anyway... I guess I should probably make a point here. I'm getting tired of this manufactured, craptastical garbage we're seeing all over television these days. Maybe if enough of us ignore some of these new shows (i.e. Don't Forget the Lyrics, America's Got Talent, and Hell's Kitchen, etc.), and start tuning into programs that are actually meaningful, we can entertain ourselves without feeling guilty about the fact that you actually wasted an hour watching The Bachelor.
Of course you could ditch tv altogether, and start writing a meaningless blog like me. It’s a good way to convince yourself that you are making a difference! Gotta run! There's a rerun of the Price is Right on right now!
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